How running helped me heal

The sport of running has given me so much: my best friends, the high of crossing the finish line, confidence, strength, an escape, a community, a passion… the list goes on! But running has also allowed me to experience the pain of injuries, the embarrassment of failing, and what it’s like to fall into the grip of obsession.

It might seem dramatic to claim that running helped me heal from an eating disorder and ulcerative colitis, but I honestly believe that I would still be struggling with those diseases if it wasn’t for this sport.

My journey as a runner started in 4th grade, when I joined my small school’s cross country team and fell in love. Honestly, its really tough for me to remember a life without running in the picture- it’s always been a piece of who I am! 

Until freshman year of high school, my love of the sport was genuine. I joined my high school’s cross country team and had the best season: I met my closest friends to this day and had the opportunity to learn how to race the help of the most supportive, uplifting coaches. However, it didn’t take long before I began chasing perfection instead of the person in front of me.

I began to abuse running, and it breaks my heart to say this now as I’m looking back.

The chase of perfection eventually resulted in being diagnosed and hospitalized with an eating disorder. It took 2 years of battling anorexia and being wheelchair-bound before I reached my breaking point. I was determined to be able to walk outside again, to go to school, and (most of all) put my running shoes back on.  

Running became my motivation to recover. Every day became an internal battle to get healthy again. Gradually, this goal helped me heal. It gave me hope and something to look forward to. I can honestly say that my passion for the sport and the tight friendships I made with my teammates are what gave me the motivation to recover. 

Fast-forward to 6 years later: seven half marathons, a full marathon, and an uncountable amount of 5k’s are behind me. Each race has given me a new perspective on what strength, determination, and confidence looks like. A newspaper writer from Iowa says it best: to run a marathon (or any tough distance race), “you must imagine doing the impossible” (Mackay 2016). 

Little did I know how every quality of my personality that running has given me over the years would add up to be what got me through one of the darkest periods of my life: going through the suffering and debilitating pain caused by ulcerative colitis. Many days, recovering from this seemed absolutely impossible.

Being diagnosed with a chronic disease hit me out of nowhere, and there are still so many unknowns. What does a life with ulcerative colitis look like? Why me? How can I manage this disease? What can I do to heal? 

It took about a month of treatment and rest before I could lace up my running shoes again, but I still carried the strength, confidence, and resilience that I’ve gained from running with me every single day. I truly believe that the mindset of “doing the impossible” is what has helped me overcome the hardest days. 

References

Mackay, Harvey. “Harvey Mackay: Running Teaches Lessons of Discipline.” Des Moines Register, Des Moines Register, 2 Aug. 2016, www.desmoinesregister.com.