6 Months with UC: My Diet, Body Image, Relationships

It’s been exactly 6 months since I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. It’s also been almost 4 months since I wrote my first post about my experience navigating and treating my IBD diagnosis. Sooo I think it’s time for a short & sweet update!

Looking back at my life before UC, life during my worst “flares”, and how I’m able to live my life now, I feel extremely thankful and humbled that I’m even at the place to write about it! …to have the energy to write about it … to have the experience and knowledge to write about it.

My Diagnosis Story: The “Short Version”

Half a year ago, I honestly thought that I would never feel like a “normal person” again. From early January to the middle of February, I didn’t know what a day felt like without my stomach being in searing pain looking up helplessly at the ceiling of my college apartment.

I couldn’t attend any of my classes, go to work, or have a social life like any other 20-year-old. I feel like this disease literally took my life away for a couple weeks.

I feel like I lost time.

Lost relationships.

Let friendships slip.

I’ll be very honest with my *gross* symptoms so that it can hopefully help explain how embarrassing and debilitating UC was for me (…why I pushed friendships/relationships away):

• Bloody stool
• Diarrhea (constantly, might I add)
• Severe Bloating
• Extreme Stomach Pain
• Contractions (like… almost unbearable)
• Fatigue
• Feeling nauseous ALL THE TIME

*But here’s the key with any disease: everybody is SO different, so these can be different for every person! (Click this link for a list of common UC symptoms.)*

I was running to the bathroom every 15 minutes, and every time I went, I would have these super intense contractions. My full time job was pretty much crying in the bathroom at this point. My mom even had to come to my college town to live with me for a couple weeks since I couldn’t even really take care of myself.

Because all of these came on so quickly for me and because Irritable Bowel Disease (IBD) didn’t run in my family, every GI doctor I went to that month only tested me for bacterial infections. …which would’ve made sense since food poisoning comes on quickly and is usually very severe.

After about 2 weeks of on-and-off testing (meanwhile the symptoms mentioned above were getting worse by the day) my mom finally forced me to go to the hospital. This ER trip finally accelerated the IBD diagnosis, but barely in time. The doctor at the hospital said it was one of the most severe cases he had ever seen. He even mentioned the possibility that I might need to have my colon removed after the high dose of steroids and anti-nausea pills weren’t working at first. THANK GOODNESS he gave me a couple weeks to try new forms of treatment- the Specific Carbohydrate Diet & Humira- before he went there!

Why I Started the Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD)

As I mentioned, the initial pills I was given weren’t working and I was getting more desperate for relief as the days went on. So my mom and I spent hours researching other forms of treatment.

I’ve always had the mindset that food is medicine ever since recovering from an eating disorder 7 years ago. So when the prescriptions weren’t helping me, it was only natural for me to take a hard look at my diet. I spent full days doing research and reading about several different diets that claim to help people with autoimmune diseases, such as UC.

The Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD) in particular stood out to me after my mom brought it to my attention (she was just as involved in my search for relief). I was very skeptical at first since it’s so restrictive. And after recovering from anorexia, I was honestly terrified that the measures I would take to recover from UC would throw me back into the disease I worked so hard to recover from…

BUT 6 months into it, I’m happy to report that I’ve never had a greater appreciation for food & fueling my body! Following the SCD for the past couple months has totally transformed my mindset & my fight to manage this disease. I feel so happy and healthy most days, and for that, I am beyond thankful!

This link has the full list of SCD “illegal” and “legal” foods.

About 4 months after following the SCD very strictly with no ulcerative colitis symptoms, I started to add a few foods back into my diet. Most of these foods fall under the “paleo” label. The paleo diet is very similar to the SCD in many ways: it doesn’t include grains, gluten, dairy, soy, or refined sugar sources. I would argue that both diets focus on minimally processed, fresh ingredients.

With that said, I would classify my current diet as “paleo-based” while still borrowing all of the gut-health concepts that the SCD is based off of. I wrote this post explaining what foods I’ve been able to add back into my diet recently!

It’s also important to note that since I started taking Humira (a medication that acts as a TNF blocker to reduce inflammation), I’ve also felt much more confident in adding more foods back into my diet! I almost think of it as a “backup” medicine while viewing nutrition & food as a type of medication in a way… if that makes sense!

Body Image & IBD

Honestly, I don’t like the way my body looks 80% of the time. I’m obviously so beyond thankful for everything it has done and everything it can do, BUT it’s just been hard to feel confident recently. I think it’s important to acknowledge these feelings in order to let them pass.

I’m hoping that the body image piece of the recovery puzzle will get better over time! But as for now, once I eat something that actually fills me up, I’m bloated… So clearly, I still have work to do to narrow down why this is/what causes it. While I’m on the bloating topic, some things that always seem to work for me include:

• Lemon water
• Eating a good-quality source of protein (my paleo chocolate collagen mug cake, wild-caught salmon, grass-fed beef, SCD-friendly tuna cakes)
• Taking a walk
• Cutting down on coffee (a VERY hard concept for me lol).

As for my face (aka acne & breakouts), some weeks it’s really clear and other times I have pimples EVERYWHERE. No matter what prescriptions I get from my dermatologist, they don’t seem to work against these pimples… which is totally new. I feel like everybody is finally getting over their acne in their 20’s, but mine is just starting… ? LOL.

Before my UC diagnosis, I NEVER had these seemingly untreatable breakouts & uncomfortable bloating…

It all probably has something to do with the inflammation inside my body. Either way, I’ve almost had to re-learn how to see myself in a positive light since IBD. It definitely doesn’t help that I struggled with an eating disorder in the past and am still struggling to get my hormones back in check from that!

I’ve saved a lot of my favorite positive quotes & affirmations on this Pinterest board!

But it’s all definitely still a work in progress. I truly believe that ulcerative colitis changed my body in sooo many ways that I’m still getting used to seeing & feeling. And that’s ok.

It’s been a process, but I’m finally starting to make daily self-care a priority… in the form of face masks, baking, & long summer night walks of course.

Social Life with UC

Alrighty.

I honestly didn’t want to dive this deep BUT I rarely post personal (aka non-food) content. lol. …Even though my #1 goal of starting a blog in the first place was to connect more deeply to more people trying to navigate an IBD diagnosis like I am. (& hopefully you’re one of those people if you read this far!) So here we go:

In more ways than I care to admit, my social life & self-confidence are very closely tied.

On the days I feel super bloated, I do everything to avoid people/plans. On the days (or weeks) when I’m having another horrible breakout, I end up staying home as much as possible because I’m embarrassed about the way my face looks.

Deep down, it’s been really tough for me to feel deserving of the guy I’m dating, of the close friendships, and sometimes even everything my family does for me every single day just so I can stay healthy…

WHICH IS RIDICULOUS, I know.

But I feel like I’m “too much to handle” and “difficult” A LOT. I don’t always feel confident bringing my “SCD-friendly snacks” to parties. I don’t always feel comfortable rocking the cute fitted dress on a date. I don’t always feel like myself the day after I take my Humira injection & feel horrible when I catch myself taking it out on my family. I constantly have to repeat these phrases:

• I am not a burden
• The right people will always be there
• I don’t have to hide anything
• It’s ok to do what’s best for me
• Vulnerability is beautiful: I’m allowed to be myself

The past 6 months with UC have been really tough on some relationships (especially during a worldwide pandemic…) but I feel like I can say that it’s also shown me the relationships and friendships that matter the most. And for that I’m so thankful!

I feel like that’s a pretty all-encompassing update on my life/UC recovery the past 6 months. IT HAS BEEN A JOURNEY. Definitely one that I never saw coming. But like every journey, I have peace in trusting that every single day is molding and shaping me to be stronger than the day before.

My faith is stronger.

My appreciation for life is stronger.

My passion for recipe developing & nutrition is stronger.

My relationships with the people in my life are stronger.

And that’s really all I could ever ask for.

xoxo – hannah